I'm back from school. I totally had no mood and had no interest as to what was being taught today. I have this feeling that my mental state is deteriorating.
You could actually bear to leave me alone just like this.
KTV-ed with Anne, Joann, Weedy, Charlene, Emerald, Tina, Kitty, Dennis, Budi and Hao hong(spelling error). Ordered beer and other stuff. Sang and yea those normal stuff. I have no idea why I have to tear whenever my ear catches a glimpse of some fucked up lyrics that I feel I can relate to. I intended to only have 1 stick per day, but I was so overwhelmed that I took a second one like 2 hours after? I need to control myself. No addiction, just depression.
Anne's last day at work. Probably the last day I'd get to meet her and stuff. Going to miss her. Wrote a 3-page long letter for her. As usual my art gets 2/100 of whatever I make with my hands. Fucking useless boy over here. Oh dear.
Bill amounted to 354 yesterday. Cab amounted to 29.80.
Reached home, tired and beat. Slept for 2 hours before leaving for school. Turned out that there wasn't BMGT this week because it's project submission week. Sigh. As usual, the stupid me.
FFA tutorial after that. Totally did not tune in. Wrote letter for Anne instead. Then BLAW tutorial after that. Law of Agency. I guess I absorbed it in? Because I was surprised I actually asked some question. Think the questions were retarded anyway.
Bus-ed to Suntec after that. Saw Mengkit and Elainee on 74. Then they alighted and yea. Now I'm at Suntec Bakerzin alone, with my colleagues of course. I just want to hide in a corner and breakdown for ever, and I do mean forever. I want to lean on a special one's shoulder for eternity and just stare at stars and rot to death. I want to think about things anytime, everytime, and all the time. I want to stop being bothered by school work and all the shit.
How could you sweep me off my feet like that, then not catch me and let me fall deeper than where I was?
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
Lovingly, not yours.
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